Thursday, December 21, 2006

Tengah khalwat ke?

There's a new mufti in town.


Perlis mufti slams khalwat raids
15 Dec 2006

Islamic authorities in the country should stop spying on couples in search of illicit pre-marriage canoodling, Perlis mufti Mohamed Asri Zainul Abidin has reportedly said, arguing it violates Islamic principles of privacy.

Under Islamic law, which operates alongside the civil code in multicultural Malaysia, khalwat - close proximity between a man and a woman who are not married - is forbidden.

Mohamed Asri joined critics who said that the investigations are often heavy-handed and unwarranted.

An American tragedy

He raised the recent case of an elderly American couple on a sailing holiday in Malaysia whose hotel room was raided by Islamic authorities who refused to believe they were Christians and had been married for 42 years.

"It is an embarrassment to Islam to see religious officers going to hotels and demanding the guest list," Mohamed Asri told the New Straits Times.

"Islam does not encourage people to look for acts of sin... to invade an individual's privacy is against Islam," he said.

The mufti said there were many other cases where married Malaysian couples had been raided in their own homes, and questioned the practice of bringing along unauthorised people, including the media, to khalwat raids. - AFP


Dear Encik Mufti,

I just wanna say, wa caya sama lu beb!

You rock dude!

Sekian, terima kasih.

p/s: now I can khalwat with peace of mind hehehe...

Marina's musings

Marina daughter-of-ex-PM Mahathir gave her two cents worth in reply to the "pakai sexy kena denda" rule imposed by Majlis Perbandaran Kota Bharu.

Read it here.

Funny.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Yey na dey Samy

Toll naik lagi.

Don't worry 'cos according to Samy Vellu ours is "the cheapest in the world".

But he forgot to say about our personal income rate compared to other countries. Or the fact that we have toll booths here, there and everywhere.

Well, what do you expect when you have a pea-brain minister. And the people who vote for his kind are actually more pea-brain than the pea-brain minister.

And here's more of Samy ramblings via Malaysiakini:

“If someone wants some facilities, then he has to pay for it.


“When it is near festive seasons, try going into the federal roads. If you are (travelling) for Hari Raya (Aidilfitri) celebrations, we would only reach our destination after the festival is over.”

“But there may not be a toll hike (for the Penang Bridge) because Penang people are special. We can’t raise the price,” he laughed.

When asked if we, the rakyat, can see the highway concession agreements:

“I don’t think you (journalists) are smarter than (opposition leader) Lim Kit Siang. Are you?

If you want to see the concession (agreement), you bring your experts and I will seek permission from the government to put it forward to you. If you can’t find any mistake, I will fine you RM50.”

Pak Lah and his goons tell us to calm down. We, the rakyat, need to share the burden, katanya.

Sharing is caring huh...

Here's my middle finger!



Friday, December 15, 2006

Fishier than fish

The Altantuya murder case gets fishier and fishier.

Received an email from Susan my activist friend who's now based in Bangkok.

Dear Friends,

Here's more info. on Altantuya Sh. It seems "a certain newspaper" paid the Mongolian newspaper to whip up negative stories on this unfortunate woman. And that her trip to Malaysia was to ask Baginda to settle payment for her business services.

Please go to more info on her story
HERE.


Then another email.

(Dec 14, Bangkok) I received an alert late last night.

The lawyer, Mr. Budragchaa Bayar, who is conducting the watching brief for Ms. Altantuya Shariibuu's murder case, on behalf of her family and NGOs, found himself in a lurch in Kuala Lumpur. The court case is supposed to be mentioned in Shah Alam this morning of Dec 14.

He was supposed to be met by Consul officials at the airport, but upon arrival, found no one there. However, two journalists from Mongolia, were received instead. Fishy, isn't it, when he was assured by officials in Mongolia that he would be duly taken care of when he is in KL?

I panicked a little. I felt something was amissed. With Mongolians being blown up with C4 explosives, I feared for Mr. Bayar's safety.

I quickly shot an email to the usual suspects: Ms. Elizabeth Wong , Mr. Yap Swee Seng and Mr. Chang Lih Kang, from SUARAM, asking for their help in this mighty hour at night.

These are the times I wished I were back home in Malaysia.

But thank God, some human rights activists don't sleep.

I caught Ms. Elizabeth online, and we quickly exchanged information. She immediately offered to call Mr. Bayar, and found out that he was fine. See more details of this in her blog.

Now, I am quite mad. The poor man was supposed to be brief by the Consul about the court case tomorrow. But that did'nt happen at all, because the Consul (or his staff) was missing-in-action.

Mr. Bayar was not informed about which court to go to, and what time. He didn't even know that tomorrow's session was merely procedural, just a mention, to set the actual trial dates.

So, if it had not been for Elizabeth's intervention, who knows what might happen to another Mongolian, walking down the street of KL.

With all the mystery surrounding this crime, it's a perfect make-up for an X-File series!


The fish is getting rotten and you can smell it from a mile.



Friday, December 08, 2006

6 minggu, 6 bulan, 6 tahun

This funny stuff about "relationships - before and after" is from MS aka Hot Babe from Brunei. Thanks babe!

It's in Bruneian language. She asked me to translate but I'd prefer to keep it authentic. Maybe I just translate some parts that are quite complicated to comprehend. The rest I think is easy cos the language is quite similar to BM. I think it doesn't matter what the language is. The language of love is, after all, universal.

So, here goes:

Sebelum Tidur:


6 minggu: selamat malam sayang, mimpi yang siuk-siuk, mmmuach.
6 bulan: tutup lampu ah, silau bah.
6 tahun : Ke sana sikit lah... tidur kalau nda mengimpiti ke mari nda boleh kah???!

(Tepi lah...tidur kalau tak himpit-himpit orang tak boleh ke?)


Pakai Toilet:

6 minggu: nda apa, you dulu tah, I tunggu.
6 bulan: lama lagikah?
6 tahun: brug! brug! brug! (suara pintu digagar), kalau kan betapa agatah arah gunung pagun di sana !!

(gedegang! gedegang! gedegang! (pintu digegar), elok you pi bertapa aje kat atas gunung sana!!)


Balas SMS:

6 minggu: iye sayang, jap lagi i sampai, i singgah *bali murtabak yg u suka..
6 bulan: trafik jam ah.
6 tahun: k..

[*bali ialah beli. tak de kena-mengena dengan Pulau Bali]


Dating process:

6 minggu: I love you, I love you, I love you.
6 bulan: Of courselah I love you.
6 tahun : Macam-macam you ani. Kalau I nda love you, nda kan I nikah you??

(Macam-macam lah you ni. Kalau tak sayang, takkan I kahwin ngan you??)


Balik Keraja:

6 minggu: Honey, I balik sudah...
6 bulan : I'm BACK!!
6 tahun: Masak apa hari *ani??

[*ani ialah ini. tak de kena-mengena dengan Sharifah Aini]


Hadiah (ulang tahun):

6 minggu : Sayang, I hope you suka the cincin I balikan you
6 bulan : I bali lukisan, bisai usulnya arah bilik living room kitani
(I beli lukisan. Elok kalau letak kat living room kita ni)
6 tahun : Nah duit, you bali tah sendiri apa yang you mau..


Telefon:

6 minggu: Baby, ada orang kan cakap sama you ni
6 bulan : Eh...your call...
6 tahun : WOOIII! TELFON BUNYI TUUUHHH....ANGKAT AH!!!


Masakan:

6 minggu: Wah, nda sangkalah, masakan you ani nyaman rupanya...!!!
(Wah...tak sangka sedap masakan you ni!!!)
6 bulan: Kitani makan apa malam ani??
6 tahun: HAH? ANI LAGI?


Memaafkan:
[seriously, I don't know why they call this memaafkan]

6 minggu: Sudahtah, nda apa tu, sudah pacah biar tia, nanti kitani bali lagi bah
(Tak pe lah, dah pecah dah, nanti I beli yang lain ok)
6 bulan: Bisai-bisai! Gugur tu karang.

(Baik-baik! Jatuh karang)

6 tahun: Sudah dipadah balik-balik, pun nda paham?!!

(Berapa kali nak cakap, tak faham-faham jugak?!!)


Baju baru:

6 minggu: Wah sayang, macam bidadarilah makai baju *atu...
6 bulan: Lah.. bali baju baru lagi?
6 tahun: UDAH BERAPA RIBU HABIS MEMBALI BAJU ATU???

[*atu ialah itu. tak de kena-mengena dengan Artoo Detoo dari Star Wars)


Merancang Holiday:

6 minggu: Macam mana kalau kitani jalan-jalan ke Amerika kah, ke tampat yang you suka?
6 bulan: Ke Miri saja. Sanang sikit nda payah naik kapalterabang...
6 tahun: JALAN-JALAN??? DUDUK RUMAH SAJA BAH! BUANG DUIT SAJA TU!


TV:

6 minggu: Baby, apa kan kitani liat malam ani?
(Baby, apa kita nak tengok malam ni?)
6 bulan : Sekajap ah, siuk cerita ani bah.
6 tahun: JANGAN TUKAR2 CHANNEL. BOLEHKAH?!


Terlangga' batu:

6 minggu: Kurang asam batu ani, nanti abang bali cangkul, kan dibuang batu ani.
6 bulan: Bila berjalan atu bisai-bisai meliat dapan.

(Bila jalan tu baik-baik lah tengok depan.)
6 tahun: BUTA KAH!!!! Batu basar macam gunung dapan mata atu pun nda teliat???!
(BUTA KE!!! Batu besar gunung pun tak nampak???!)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Pakai sexy, kena!

Sometimes I wonder if our politicians really understand what politics is all about. Well, let me give them a crash course in Politics 101.

Politics is about how not to piss-off the voters. As simple as that.


But the Kelantan State govt aka PAS is doing the opposite.

Read this:
Cover up or else

So, if you ladies wanna work in Kelantan, jaga-jaga ok. Because under local council by-laws, women working in retail outlets or restaurants must not “dressed sexily or indecently”. If not, you could be fine up to RM500.

RM500 ok. That's more than a speeding saman.

Why do you need to fine them? What ever happened to the concept of tarbiyah?

How do you define "sexy", by the way? Don't you think it's pretty subjective?

I like this one:
“Such outfits are prohibited here as it smears the reputation of Kota Baru and affects its status as an Islamic City.”

Islamic City.

Fine.

But dude, have you cleaned your public toilets? I blog about it you know.

Bukan ke menjaga kebersihan itu satu daripada ajaran Islam?

Which one is more important - cleanliness or a piece of cloth on your head?

While you ponder on that, Lim Guan Eng gave a good comment:
Bring back local govt elections, forget dress codes




Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Views From The Ass

After prepaid mobile now the government is contemplating to register bloggers as well.

Read this: Cyber law mulled to block lies in blogs

Sometimes I wonder if these people [read: government] really use their brains when they talk.

Or perhaps they prefer to use The Ass.

Aisehman is pissed too.


Dear Mr Minister,

Do you see this finger here?

Now, stuff that finger up your ass.

That will stop all your crappy views from coming out of your tiny little hole.

Sekian, terima kasih.

"Berkhidmat untuk negara."

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Dang Wangi I

I reached Dataran Merdeka at about 4.00 pm. The crowd were more than 2,000 already. And the numbers were swelling. Everybody was waiting for someone to start the "party". I and my brother wandered around watching the crowd. Saw my buddy and we talked and updated each other on the latest political situation.

Then we heard the now familiar battle cry of "Re-for-ma-si!"

Yes, the party has begun. I went straight to the thick of the action. While we were holding up a banner and chanting Re-for-ma-si! the crowd surged forward. We were joined by more people which among them were the Special Branch (SB) and the press. Cameras were clicking away. Apart from TV crew there were also people with handycams which I believe were the SB.

One guy who was too vocal and seemed like he was possessed was quickly detained by the cops. They threw him inside a white Proton Wira and drove on, his fate unknown.

And the battle cry grew louder and louder.

All roads leading to Dataran Merdeka were
now closed . The demo had spilled over to the middle of the streets. I could see the FRU with their water cannon facing us. We formed a human barricade. As we were about to march towards the FRU, someone shouted,

"Hoi, pusing belakang!"

We were confused. Something was amiss. "The police will move in soon," I thought.

As I was about to turn, someone grabbed my hands from behind.

"Polis!"

I knew I was being arrested. While I was being dragged to the mobile police beat (it's a bus actually but the interior is like an office) I told the cop who held me, "Rilek brader, rilek."

I thought he would "relax". I was wrong.

Once in the bus, he threw me on the floor and started kicking and punching me while cursing at the same time.

"Pengkhianat kau! Malu kan negara aje!"

(Err...polis pukul orang tak malukan negara ke brader?)

"Aku penat Commonwealth tak abis lagi ni"

(Ohh...he was on duty during the Commonwealth Games at that time. Kalau penat berehat kat rumah lah brader. Kejar-kejar orang buat pe. Bukan dapat gold medal pun...)

Punch punch. Kick kick.

I tried to ward off his attack using my hands. That made him angrier. He gave me one really hard kick on the side of my body and then stepped on my ribs. Luckily he didn't break 'em tho he was wearing boots that could kill a dog.

He then took my IC and gave it to his superior.

More comrades joined me in the bus. Some were handcuffed.

Saw a young chap sitting on the floor, his hands handcuffed.

The cop shouted at him,

"Kau ni budak UIA kan? Ni mesti korang punya keje!"

Another chap was thrown into the bus, crying. The cops laughed at him.

We were later transferred to the police truck aka the Black Maria. Our next destination would be the police HQ (IPK) where we would be processed.

There were two trucks in the middle of the road. Both were jam-packed. The other truck was like a packed sardine.

As we waited inside the truck one high-ranking cop wielded something-that-looks-like-a-big-shaver. That big "shaver" can give you a not-so-nice-electric-shock.

"Siapa bising-bising lagi, nampak ni?!"

Bzzzzt....bzzzzzt...!

His "shaver" kuar api wohhh!

[To be continued...]






Friday, December 01, 2006

The Kg Berembang tragedy



You won't read about this in the mainstream newspapers. Especially not in Utusan Malaysia. This is the kind of thing that makes my blood boil like an active volcano.



"The Ampang Jaya Municipal Council tore down the only remaining structure in Kampung Berembang in Ampang - a surau - but not before leaving
the 30-year-old village looking like a battle ground.

Scores of residents of Kampung Berembang, along with members of several non-government organisations and political parties, were involved in a physical battle with enforcement officers from the council, who were backed by police and the Federal Reserve Unit to save the surau.

Last week, the council had demolished all the 50-odd houses in the village, leaving only the two-storey surau behind - that too after a long and hard protest by the villagers and members of a grassroots movement, Jerit." [malaysiakini, 30/11/2006]



If this is not kezaliman then I don't know what is.


"The officers were seen pulling the hair of some of the women and slapping the children who refused to leave the surau.

"I was afraid but somehow I found the courage to try to stop the officers, maybe because I care for the surau," said Aida Suhaida (
below), 15, who was slapped by a MPAJ officer.


"We are women, and the men should not touch us, but they kicked me and stepped on my stomach while I was sitting at the (surau's) staircase," said Norhasliana Osman Taad, 22, who was pull by the officers until her cloth was torn.

"They slapped my face until my eyes turned red. The children were also stepped on by them," she said.

In the aftermath of the melee, 11 people - nine activists and two villagers - were arrested and taken to the Ulu Kelang Taman Keramat police station and Ampang Jaya police station.

As the dust settled, Kampung Berembang looked like a battle zone with villagers fallen to the ground, some crying in pain, about four fainted and some vomited as a result of sheer exhaustion." [malaysiakini, 30/11/2006]


Staring at the face of cruelty, race and religion do not matter.
Salute the warriors - students, activists, NGOs, opposition
leaders and the people of Kg Berembang.



I wonder what ever happened to all the Hidup Melayu! bullshit. Where was the keris-wielding Umno Youth leader?

There must be a humane solution to this. What happened to "masyarakat penyayang"? Islam Hadhari?

The Kg Berembang case is still pending in court and yet the authorities can't wait to demolish the houses and leave scores homeless. Don't they have even an iota of compassion running through their veins?

Waddafak!!!

Even a letter from the PM's Dept failed to stop the demolition. Not so powerful lah you Pak Lah after all.

Why demolish now? During rainy season? When there are children taking their SPM exams?

More drama in Harakahdaily. Read this and weep for Malaysia.


To the powers-that-be, the State, MPAJ, police, FRU, useless leaders - may you rot in neraka jahanam!!!

[Pix from malaysiakini and Faisal Mustaffa. More pix from Jerit here.]