Day off

I took a day off on Tuesday. It's so nice when you're at home lepak-ing on the sofa watching Astro while other people are working or pretend to do some work.

Switched channels after channels.

Saw 5 Takes on Travel & Living where five mat and minah sallehs went for a tour in Singapore. Talking about Singapore, I've not been to the so-called kiasu island for a long, long time. The last time I was there was during the Whitney Houston concert. Yeah I went all the way to Singapore just to catch Whitney. And my buddy Nuar, the Whitney Houston fan-atic, was "detained" for a while for a urine test at the border check-point and I didn't even realise it. I thought he was abducted by Singaporeans. Or he was too kiasu to see Whitney. Well, we did manage to see the concert after I almost lost my mind (and balls) trying to find him.

I should make a trip down there again. No matter what Mahathir says about Singapore, we must remember that historically the island was a part of us. It will always be. We can't simply cut the umbilical cord just for political hubris. We must also remember that they have The Singapore Girl a.k.a the world-renowned Singapore Airlines stewardess. Jangan lupa, penting tu. Maybe when I'm down there (in Singapore, I mean) The Singapore Girl can be my tour guide :-)

From 5 Takes I watched the repeat of 3R. Good programme that 3R. The topic was about 'clingy girlfriends'. Don't you just hate clingy girlfriends. Or boyfriends for that matter. But they don't call 'em clingy boyfriends. There's another word for it - possessive.

Girls, I know it's lovey-dovey and sweet when you care so much. But don't overdo it lah. If you overdo it, it won't be as sweet. It becomes masam. When you really, really overdo it, it becomes ketiak masam. Anyway, girls/ladies/women/wives take matters of the heart seriously. Unlike men. While women keep the love close to their hearts, men like to keep close to the women's chest. If you get what I mean.

Most bloggers are women?

In The Star today:

"If you are a Malaysian and you have your own blog, the odds are that you’re a woman, aged 25 or under.

Sixty-four per cent of local bloggers are female and 74% of them are in that age group.

This is a finding of an international online survey involving more than 25,000 Microsoft MSN web portal visitors in August and September." [The Star, 30/11/2006]

Ah Seng si penjual aiskrim tanya: "Ada betut ka ini survey? Betut meh?"
Hmm...interesting. And since I'm not a woman, it makes me like so malu. Aiyaa why like dat lorr
But come to think of it, the findings could be true. Let's look at the pre-blogging days when there's an ancient method to pen down one's thoughts and memories. It's called The Diary.

Tell me how many guys keep a diary. Ask a she (forget about shemale) and the odds are that she keeps one. My sisters kept a diary or rather had one during their pre-marital days. Now they keep other things like babies, pots and pans and a big baby called The Husband.

I don't recall having kept a diary before. Dairy milk yes I like.

The survey also points out that, "as for blog-reading habits, 63% of respondents said they read blogs for entertainment."

63% ok. Are you one of them?

So Ah Seng, that should answer your question.

Errr...lu paham ka apa gua cakap Ah Seng?

Quote

"Being with someone who doesn't love you is lonelier than being alone all by yourself"

Not my quote ok.

It's from one of the patients in Grey's Anatomy last night.

Is it deep or shallow or in the words of Ah Seng si penjual aiskrim,

"Ada dalam ka tarak dalam?"

Silap tembak

Read this in Utusan Malaysia today:

Lelaki disangka monyet mati ditembak jiran

Poor guy.

How could anyone be mistaken for a monyet? I think the neighbour is the real monyet here.

Imagine if you read this headline tomorrow:

Monyet disangka lelaki mati ditembak jiran

Bak kata Agnes Monica, "tak ada logika"...

The Rebel

Hishamuddin Rais

Read yet another feature about this rebellious, devil-may-care guy in The Star today. His life has gone through many shades of colour. He's been there-done that, sometimes more than once.

Still independent-minded and critical after all these years. No wonder he calls himself NGI - Non Governmental Individual.

Am proud to say he's from Jelebu, Negeri Sembilan, not far from my kampung. Woghih den ok.

Ask Hishamuddin Rais his views and you can expect caustic, witty and irreverent responses. Like this one:

You have mentioned a creeping Taliban-isation of Malaysia.

The problem is that the Malays don’t read the Quran itself, they rely too much on people who claim to be close to God.

I just wrote about how I am living with three cats and a dog, and how they could live and play together despite supposedly being enemies. It’s a metaphor of the Malay, Chinese, Indian social constructs But some people responded to my article saying I had no right to live with a dog.

But the Quran categorically respects dogs. Among its 6,666 verses, not one says you can’t have a dog. Instead, the Quran has the story of a guy who slept in a cave for 300 years, and an angel found him sleeping with his loyal dog. The Quran says the meat from animals hunted by dogs is halal. And it says, love all animals.

In Malaysia, they always say the Quran is complete. But there’s nothing in it about the Internet, Google, going to the moon or the PLUS highway.

Five hundred years ago, the mullahs said we should stop ijtihad, stop rational debate on the sacred texts. The movement to bring ijtihad back is still very small in Malaysia, but I believe we need it. [The Star, 26/11/2006]

Wow! Food for thought, no?

Nana Tanjung

Nope I didn't watch the movie. Or any movie by Prof Madya A. Razak Mohaideen, that is. Yup, he's a professor, believe it or not. Just wanna share with you the review made by Hari Azizan from The Star.

"Whatever the reasons, as the recent political circus in town showed, it pays to cash in on a winning formula, since we Malaysians love the status quo. A.Razak's "magic" directorial touch brings to mind Yusuf Haslam's successful if tired formula.

But if we have learnt anything from Hollywood, it is that box-office earnings do not reflect quality or even taste. Not that it matters to A.Razak.

For him, we, the lowly reviewers and critics, are merely envious naysayers. As he says, the numbers, like Shakira's hips and EPU figures, don't lie." [The Star, 25/11/2006]

Well said bro. I remember "watching" one of Razak's films during one of those boring Raya reruns. I think it was Mistik. Or was it Potret Mistik? Whatever 'stik' lah. Anyway, the script was so simple. Everybody was screaming. Aaaaaaa! Makkkkkkk! Ohhhhhhhh! Aaaaaaaaa! I watched it for only five minutes before I started cursing. It was really a "horror" movie.

I believe films should be the manifestation of life. But when people [read: Melayu] go in droves to the panggung in awe of films like Sembilu and Nana Tanjung, it is actually a sad reflection of our own society.

250 years old?!!

aman

• Age: 250
• Gender: Male
• Astrological Sign: Aquarius
• Zodiac Year: Rat

Aikk?! Why am I so old? You see, this is what happened when you memandai-mandai change to beta version. Trying to keep up with technology lah kononnya. Suddenly profile pun jadi kelam-kabut. Nasib pakcik tak kono heart attack.

By the way I'm a Snake not a Rat and I'm definitely not that old...nor am I very young.

p/s profile problem sudah fixed.

The Singapore Girl

Okay. I don't like to blow my own trumpet. Or as they say in Malay 'angkat bakul sendiri'. But heck I still wanna blow (not that kind of blow, you pervert!).

I seldom open my blog email. But what a surprise when I received an email today from someone in Singapore who has been reading my blog. Err... you tak de keje lain ke? I'm really honoured. And to know that she's a she makes me even more sexcited ooppps excited...

So here I blow...

I came across ur blog....and really, i find it really really funny. thanks
for making my boring day at the office a little bit entertaining...hahaha
and i like the part about 'the wedding of the year' thingy and the
observation u made at majlis perkahwinan....sounds damn familiar...it
happens in singapore too!!

Thanx babe. Enjoy your asam pedas and sambal belacan.

*grinning from ear to ear*

Razak Baginda

He's been charged today with abetting the murder of Mongolian beauty Altantuya Shaariibuu.

But I find this disturbing:

SHAH ALAM: Counsel for the two policemen charged with Altantuya Shaariibuu’s murder had a long list of grievances against the police.

"How do you expect me to defend my clients when I cannot meet them?" Shaun Tan Kee Shaan said.

Claiming that police had not been transparent in their investigations, Tan questioned their motive for keeping him away from his clients.

"What is there to hide?" he asked. "I was only given five minutes to see them, and that too, after they were charged." [NST, 16/11/2006]

Lawyer for Razak faces the same problem.

Tan’s grievances are similar to that of Datuk Muhammad Shafee Abdullah, who is representing a political analyst who has been remanded in connection with the case.

Shafee had also complained that police had not given him access to his client.

Tan said he was waiting at the Kuala Lumpur courts since 9am yesterday and was not informed that his clients would be charged in Shah Alam.

"Neither the police nor the DPP informed me. I was told by a reporter!

"I have handled other cases in the past, but this is the first time I am having so much problems with the police." [NST, 16/11/2006]

Why?

I smell a fish and a rat.

Batu seremban in space anyone?

I thought the Umno General Assembly was a joke until I read this: Malaysia's astronaut to play Malay children's games

Other astronauts go to space to conduct meaningful research on the galaxy but ours will go there and play batu seremban, do batik painting and make teh tarik.

Congrats guys. You are really an asstronaut.

The Grand Circus is back!

The Grand Circus is back in town.

You can see lots of clowns clowning around at the Grand Circus. Like always they will be in their white and red or pink uniforms. They will shout Hidup Melayu! many times. Then they will talk about "hak-hak bangsa kita". Other races are out to get our "hak", or so they say. Junior and senior clowns will continue to worship their Chief Clown. Like always, you can hear the mantra "wa ampu sana wa ampu sini." Loud and clear. They will try to outdo each other. They will also think hard on how to make their bellies bigger.

Not so long ago, the Chief Clown cried. "Dah lama dah...," he cried. One Makcik Clown rushed to the podium and yelled "no...no...why...why...?". And other clowns cried too. One almost fainted. Not sure whether it's because of the extreme joke or extreme love for the Chief Clown. That Chief Clown who cried is no longer the Chief Clown. Now they have a new Chief Clown. Maybe he will cry too.

So, let's go to the Grand Circus. It's an annual event. Admission is free. Bring along your kids .

However, some jokes can be pretty offensive and disturbing. Parental guidance is advised.

Sex then kaboom!

My buddy Nuar emailed me these which are believed to be pix of Altantuya, the murdered-blown up Mongolian model. Is it really her?

If you Google, this is the only pix that you'll find.

Poor girl.

This gonna be juicier than the Norrita's case. The intriguing plot is stuff Hollywood blockbusters are made of.

And the alleged involvement of a prominent think-tank guy (or is it ting-tong now) and the police makes Malaysia really Boleh.

Sigh...

UPDATED:
That's not her. The pix are that of a Korean actress and singer. And the one on Google is a case of same name but different person.

Crap, crap, crap

Nope. I've not been procrastinating.

Just that broadband at my office-that-is-within-the-MSC has been down since Raya. Today miraculously it's up and running. The dial-up internet in my home is non-existent now. Don't ask me why. Ask Telekom, TMNet, Jaring, Multimedia Commission and pihak-pihak yang berkenaan.

Broadband kat Mesia ni is really crappy, crappy, crappy. No, make that shitty, shitty, shitty (bukan Siti ok).

So, how many Raya Open House have you been to. Or how many have you not gone to? I went to two so far. Raya this year was a damper. Hujan, hujan, hujan. But the Raya chit-chat was hot though. Especially with the renewed Pak Lah-Mahathir spat. I'm sick and tired of it really. I'd rather spit at the spat. It's all about personal interest if you ask me. National interest? Porrrahhh!

Anyway, let that 81-year old man continue "tokking kok" (to borrow from Patrick Teoh's Teohlogy). Oh yeah, that "Istana Zakaria" in Klang was also the talking point when I got together with my cousins. I can't comment about that/him without using profanities in every three sentence. So I'd rather do something more worthwhile, like scratching my balls.

I'd better upload this entry before my internet is down again. Susah duk Mesia nie...