The Malay circus

As I blog this, TV3, RTM1 and Astro are trying to outdo each other by having this silly Siti, Mawi or Ina thingy.

It's plain stupidity. The Malays, especially, just like this kind of crap. They like to watch this sort of circus and the clowns are all Malays.

This is the sort of thing that makes me ashamed to be a Malay.

Tu pasal lah Melayu tak maju-maju.

Tak de keje lain ke?

Pi lah baca buku wei!

Tengok Discovery channel lagi baik.

Bangang!!!

Kenduri & karaoke

Went to my cousin's son's wedding last Saturday. One thing about weddings in my kampung is that they must have a DJ and a karaoke set.

"Sesape yang nak nyanyi tu boleh datang ke khemah pilih lagu ye."

Hello, ni kenduri kahwin lah bukan kelab karaoke. I just don't get it, these people. Thank God nobody accepted the offer while I was there.

Another thing they like to do is play the music loud. Really LOUD. You can't even chat with the person beside you. I could see two old men shouting at each other just to make themselves heard. And that two old men already had "sound problem".

Saw mostly the same faces at the wedding. No hot babes. Only out-of-shape wives and moms of other people. Very few young girls. Kalau ade pun tak cun.

The mak andam is young though. She looks quite cute. I hope she's a she. And the bride has quite a nice body. For now, at least.

Weddings make me feel old. The young ones would call me Tok. The younger than young would call me Nyang. I shudder to think what their offspring would call me.

This time around I thought I could escape from the 22,222 ringgit question.

Until the pengantin made their grand entrance.

"Ko bilo laei Man?"

One cousin shouted at me amidst the blaring music.

I pretended I couldn't hear.

"Aaa? Tak dongar?"

She stopped asking.

I realise that I don't get that sort of question very often these days. Maybe they've given up hope on me. Or maybe they got tired of asking.

Sometimes I just give a cheeky answer. During one Raya, a cousin asked the same question. I answered,

"Esok pagi."

Toilet revolution

DPM Najib has called for a "toilet revolution" in the country.

He said, "the cleanliness and beauty of a country's toilets were a measure of how civilised it was."

When it comes to toilets we are way behind our neighbour Singapore. No, they are not being kiasu. They are just more disciplined than us. Or perhaps they aim better.

I doubt we can change the mentality of our people when it comes to toilets. We are, after all, Malaysians.

Which reminds me of my trip to Kota Bharu a couple of months ago. I went to the public toilet near Pasar Siti Khadijah. Paid 20 sen hoping that I could do my business in peace....but,

aggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The place looked like it hadn't been cleaned for ages. Shits floating in the bowl, pipes not working, no flush and it stinks to high heaven!

And all that for 20 sen.

#$F&%##U?$##C&#%$#K!!!

Rushed out and saw this signboard,

"Selamat Datang Ke Kota Bharu Bandaraya Islam"

If you wanna call your place Islamic City, fine, but dude clean your toilet first lah!

The last breath

Al-fatihah

RM22,222.22

I leave it to you guys to make your own conclusions.

Read this Usah kaitkan 22,222.22 dengan ayat al-Quran

Then this Al-Quran diturunkan 22 tahun 2 bulan 22 hari

Whatever it is, in Islam other numerics are significant too.

3 is significant. So is 13. So is 33.

If you really need to show-off please don't invoke the religion or God.

Have you not been told about bidaah?

Malaysian Blockbusters

I must thank Susan Loone for this one.

Best Malaysian Blockbusters - coming to a VCD stall near you.

Hot babe

They don't just make cars, do they?

Meet Kurara Chibana Miss Japan and first runner-up of Miss Universe 2006. A native of Okinawa and a psychology graduate.

Who says hot babes can't be smart?

Too bad she didn't clinch the title. If she did, our government might have to re-introduce the Look East Policy.

I've no problem with that as long as this is the view that I get.

The law was twisted

I remember very well when our former Lord President, Tun Salleh Abas was sacked. Five other judges were also suspended of whom two were sacked. It was 1988. I remember cursing the former PM, Mahathir and his regime. I was in ITM at that time and wrote a strong-worded piece about the issue. But the article didn't see the light of day because my lecturer felt it was too hot to be printed.

The whole thing was flawed. And outstanding citizens were sacrificed for the sake of political expediency. Those were the darkest days for justice. The most important pillar of democracy suffered and never recovered. Our judicial system was made a pariah in the international arena.

That's why I'm glad that today, the Bar Council has called for a revisit of the judicial crisis. Minister Nazri said "we can't keep questioning past issues, otherwise there will never be finality." The usual lame response we get from our elected leaders. If we can't question past issues, how are we going to right the wrongs of the past?

Here are some of Tun Salleh's comments featured in the NST today,

"I tell you the truth. After I was dismissed on Aug 8, 1988, I became absolutely disillusioned with the law. So much so that I never encouraged my children and grandchildren to study law. But I took my comfort and solace in becoming a simple gardener. But I kept on praying to God that a day would arrive that the truth would triumph."

"The truth is that my dismissal and the suspension of five colleagues, two of whom were dismissed, was a great fraud on the judiciary. Somehow or other the truth will emerge."

"...but the law that we had before was twisted. It was a clear example of the use of the law of the power. It cost the life of one judge, the late Tan Sri Eusoffe Abdoolcader. He was so disillusioned with the law. "

You can read more of his comments here.

You should also try to find the book, May Day For Justice co-written by Tun Salleh Abas and K. Das.

Heavens may fall but let justice be done.

Mat Rempit

Read in the papers a few days ago. Putera Umno has this great idea about changing the name of Mat Rempit to Mat Cemerlang. It seems that it would give a more positive image hence might eradicate the lumba haram menace.

Those Umno guys never fail to amuse me.

So folks, you can sleep tight soon. No more vroom-vroom in the middle of the night. I mean how can you be a daredevil on the bike with that Mat Cemerlang name on your back.

Tak rock lah brader!

Ok ok let's see what sort of new names we can use for other social ills.

Hmmm let me see, how about this,

Bohsia - Minah Hadhari

Bohjan - Mat Hadhari

Mat Fit - Mat Hidup Melayu

Mat Skodeng - Mat Wawasan

Mat Syabu - Mat Gemilang

Kira ok lah tu brader...

Thank you

Was about to jump into my car after dinner when I received this sms from my good buddy Nuar,

Man, u don't mind if my colleague nak

masuk kan ur blog add into her blog! Linking!

I was like, biar betul nie...

To know that some stranger out there actually reads my blog can be pretty flattering. Really.

So thanks Zaida for linking me up. Now you get to read all the crappy stuff that I post in my blog. Your life will never be the same LOL :-)

Jangan muntah ok...

Forgive her lah

This one's from Yasmin Ahmad in her blog entry "Why she remains my Anak Emas".

She's talking about that senseless controversy surrounding Sharifah Amani and her "I sound stupid when I speak Malay" statement.


"And no matter how much they rant about how "kurang ajar" she was on the night of FFM19, as far as I'm concerned she was nowhere near as kurang ajar as the people who crucified her.

I mean, for goodness' sake, they even cursed her father and mother. Call me old-fashioned, but insulting someone's parents does not figure in my book as decent civil behaviour.

And she's only 20. How old are these people again?

When I arrived at Putra World Trade Centre that night, the show was already over. Sharifah Aleya rushed up to me and said, "Your daughter's in a bad state. Some people have been shredding her to bits."

I ran to Nani and found her in tears. With a trembling voice that could melt the stoniest heart, she cried, "Mak, this would have been a wonderful night for you, but I had to open my stupid mouth. I'm so sorry..."

I held her in my arms and said, "You won, baby. Don't worry about me. You won and I'm just so proud of you." And with that, she wept and wept on my shoulder, ruining what could've been the perfect kebaya for the night.

The girl made a mistake, dear friends. Who among us hasn't, at some point or other in our lives? And somehow, I don't think condemning her will make God forgive us for ours. Forgiving her, on the other hand, might.

"It is in forgiving that we are forgiven." Insyaallah." [Yasmin Ahmad]


Why they made such a big fuss about it is beyond me.

What about A.R. Badul's lewd comments and gatal look on Ida Nerina's "bumper" in the presence of her own husband in the crowd?

Now that's kurang ajar if you asked me.

Tengku Zawyah & Sons

Gotta get this off my chest.

I puke every time I read about the so-called "wedding of the year". In the midst of all the brouhaha we conveniently forget that there are souls out there weeping in silence. I'm talking about The Ex of course, Tengku Zawyah and her sons. Looks like we, as a society, are suffering from a sensitivity deficit.

Yesterday, Tengku Zawyah broke her "elegant silence" in an interview with Mingguan Malaysia - Tengku Zawyah mengintai bahagia.

Some of the stuff she said tugged at the heart-strings, especially when she spoke of her children,

Aazief juga pernah mengalirkan air mata apabila melihat sebuah rancangan yang menemubual khas bapanya. Dalam rancangan selama satu jam itu, Khalid bercerita tentang saat-saat indah percintaannya dan kisah perkahwinan yang bakal dilalui bersama Siti Nurhaliza.

“Dia tengok tv, tetapi matanya melilau ke arah lain, tetapi saya tahu dia dengar apa yang diperkatakan. Tak lama kemudian dia teresak-esak seorang diri,’’ katanya.

Congrats TV3 for being so "sensitive". Ratings are more important than being humane, right?

I puke even more when I read this in another section,

“Mummy bukalah kotak ni. Bagi Tengku [the reporter] jamah sekali,’’ Khalid mengarahkan dan Siti hanya tersenyum.

Mummy? Ya, itulah panggilan mesra Khalid kepada Siti dan saya juga menunggu apakah pula panggilan mesra Siti buat yang tersayang?"

Mummy?! But err...Datuk, your Siti is not a mummy yet. You lovebirds are not even married yet. Unless...err...Ok I won't go into that.

Uuwwwwwweekkkkk...!

See, I puke again.

EPL is back!

My weekends are exciting again now that the EPL is back.

MU off to a dream start by thrashing Fulham 5 - 1. Fluid passing and lethal finishing by the Red Devils last night.

Watch out, Chelsea.

Multimedia Super Cincai

MSC is 10 years old today. Considering the speed of the Information Age, 10 is old. When it was first launched there was much hype and hope. Ten years down the road, broadband is still scarce.

My home is a mere 30-minute drive to MSC but yet there's no broadband service. The people in Telekom (they like to call themselves TM now) and Jaring insist that my place is as remote as Ulu Kanowit. Broadband is also not available in my office which is WITHIN the MSC area. So canggih huh...

The speed of broadband in Malaysia is 1Mbps, or so they claimed. In Singapore (yeah the country that Mahathir loathe so much) it's from 10 - 20Mbps. It's cheaper too and readily available. And don't give me that crap that Singapore is small hence easier to put up the infra. KL is oso small maa...!

Happy Birthday MSC - Multimedia Super Cincai.

Pak Besaq

Strawberries did it for Datuk K

August 11th, 2006 at 3:11 pm (The Star)

[Excerpts from the report]

The interview unveiled some of her best-kept secrets, including the nickname that she has for Datuk K – Pak Besaq (a Kedah colloquial for Big Daddy).

“Alah … Don’t lah (sheepishly) … Pak Besaq. His rank is Pak Besaq,” she said, after the interviewer persuaded her into telling some of her secrets.

Now, don't get funny ideas. This pisang here is just "gambar hiasan". Got nothing to do with the story. I just wanna promote local fruits, that's all.

Makanlah buah-buahan tempatan.

p/s Bumped into Siti and her Uncle Misai inside KLCC lift yesterday . I whispered to my friend, "Tadi kita baru kutuk dia orang kan".

Murtad

I know, it's a sensitive issue. This morning I was asked, again, about the Lina Joy case. I told them that we can't just go about screaming our lungs out without looking deeper into the issue. I mean, look at the root causes of the problem. Even if you had legislations barring Muslims from renouncing their faith, how can we guarantee that murtad ceased to be a problem? People can still renounce their faith discreetly. You can't read what's inside their heart and mind, can you?

If I had the chance to meet Lina Joy I would really like to know why she was attracted to Christianity? How was the religion preached to her. I guess you've received that email about her being involved in an accident and the fella (now her boyfriend) who helped her. Don't know how true the story is. It doesn't matter if your house has a picture of Kaabah as big as the wall, or your sisters all wear tudung and your dad is the imam in your kampung. All that doesn't make you a Muslim through and through. If your iman is really strong, would you renounce Islam?

When I was in Sarawak, the Christian missionaries were willing to go deep into the remote areas and engaged the Ibans, Bidayuhs etc. They would provide them with their basic needs. You name it, water supply, lavatories, medical care etc. It's soft sell. No fiery sermons and no judging of one's character. It is a subtle way yet very effective. Now, have our ulama' and pendakwah done that? Have they really gone to the ground or they prefer to pass judgments from the comfort of their surau and mosque?

Islam is about peace. Islam is about compassion. But yet we have a mufti who would like to banish AIDS sufferers to an island. Kongsi-Raya is haram although we just go there for makan. What next? World Cup is haram too?

As Muslims, we need to muhasabah. We need to reinvent our approach. We can't keep blaming others for our own failures.

Another warning

Pantau blog-blog fitnah kerajaan

KUALA KANGSAR 14 Ogos – Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz meminta kerajaan memantau laman-laman web terutama blog-blog individu yang banyak memuatkan fakta tidak benar mengenai pemimpin dan kerajaan.

[Utusan Malaysia, 15/8/2006]

Now it's Kak Fidah's turn to send chills down the spine of bloggers. I'm like sooo scared...seram yang amat.

Remember this?

It's Gubra!

Yay! Gubra won the Best Film award in the 19th M'sian Film Festival last nite.

It also grabbed other awards including Best Actress - Sharifah Amani.

While delivering her acceptance speech, she silenced the likes of Raja Azmi (that perasan bagus film producer & wife of Jailani Sidek) by screaming,

"If making films is mencemarkan budaya, let's do it more often!"

You go girl!

Hello DJ...

I just don't get it. Some people get a kick telling the world about their personal stuff over the radio. One day, while I was changing frequency on the way to work, one Minah called-in the DJ...

"Ya...saya sayang suami saya...tapi satu aje, dia ni suka kentut. Asyik-asyik kentut. Kentut kentut kentut!"

Tak tau malu ke?

Hey Minah, next time when you call-in can you tell us the colour of your hubby's poop in the morning?

Again?!

My sis is pregnant.

Again.

For the sixth time.

At the age of 43.

You should have bought your hubby a PS2.

Let's bloggie down bebeh...

Whoaa...! Pak Lah can give warning meh?

You see, this is why I started blogging. Just to be yet another annoying citizen.

Now everybody should blog.

So that we can give Pak Lah and his boys at Bukit Aman a real BIG migraine!