Misteri gula

[Suatu pagi di sebuah Tadika Kemas]

Adik-adik, ada satu kisah misteri. Tapi bukan misteri nusantara ye tapi misteri gula.

Mula-mula Menteri Pak Shafie Apedal cakap gula tak cukup.

Komdian Menteri lagi satu Kak Pidah pulak kata gula cukup sebenor-benor nye.

Meh kita cuba tanya PM Pak Lah yang pandai sikit aje dari adik-adik sumer.

Laa... Pak Lah kata gula cukup lah adik-adik. Pandai Pak Lah kan?

Abis tu, mana pegi gula adik-adik?

Adik-adik konpius? Pak Cik lagi konpius dik oii...

Apa kata kita nyanyi aje lah,

"Gula oh gula kenapa engkau hilang
Macam mana aku tak hilang
Pasal menteri korang bangang"

The law was twisted II

'Dr M told me to resign'

27 Sept 2006 - NST

KUALA LUMPUR: Tun Salleh Abas yesterday revealed five incidents which he said proved that his fate as the Lord President was sealed before a tribunal heard misconduct charges against him in 1988.

He hoped that these incidents would meet the "new and important facts" criteria set by Minister in the Prime Minister's Department Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz for a review of the 1998 judicial crisis.

"These new facts, I hope, could persuade Datuk Seri Nazri to change his mind. The incidents undeniably go to show that come what may, I must be made to give up my judicial office.

"There would, of course, be other incidents and other details which would emerge if the review is held but for the time being, I shall keep the identities of those unnamed persons concealed," said Salleh yesterday.

The five incidents which Salleh said would shed light on his sacking and the dismissal of Datuk George Seah and Datuk Wan Sulaiman Pawanteh are:

Incident No. 1:

The first incident relates to my meeting with the then prime minister in his office on May 27 in the presence of the then deputy prime minister and chief secretary to the government.

"I was asked by the then prime minister to step down because I was accused of being biased in the discharge of my judicial duties.

"My understanding of this accusation was that it must have been connected with the impending Umno 11 (the case involving 11 Umno members who sought to nuliify the 1987 party elections) case when I decided to establish a nine-member panel of the Supreme Court to hear the appeal.

"I strongly denied the accusation and told him that I was not prepared to resign. Then he threatened to dismiss me by instituting a tribunal under the Constitution. I told him I was prepared to be dismissed rather than leave the judicial office under a cloud."

Incident No. 2:

On May 27 1988, a messenger who was "a very important officer of the government" visited Salleh and tried to persuade him to resign or go on long leave. He rounded up by threatening Salleh with dismissal if he refused.

"Were I to resign, I would be appointed to a lucrative job in Jeddah as a director of an Islamic bank with a high salary, coupled with an unlimited amount of entertainment allowance and travelling expense.

"The officer said he had been authorised to pass this message to me by a very important minister. I was threatened with dismissal and the ignominy of facing a tribunal. I gave the same answer I gave the prime minister earlier."

Incident No. 3:

A month after his suspension, Salleh said he was summoned by some Malay rulers to Istana Kelantan in Jalan Kia Peng.

"I was told by the then Raja of Perlis that should I tender my apologies to and ask forgiveness from the Yang di-Pertuan Agong for writing my letter to his Majesty, my suspension would be lifted and the matter would end there. I was to travel to Istana Bukit Serene with my chief counsel."

But Salleh alleged that the mission failed as the Yang di-Pertuan Agong had been "briefed by two senior government officers from Kuala Lumpur" not to forgive him.

Incident No. 4:

Salleh said his colleagues were suspended to thwart them from hearing a judicial review application challenging the legality and constitutionality of his suspension and the composition of the tribunal to deal with his dismissal.

Incident No. 5:

Salleh said that he and the late Tun Suffian Hashim acted as advisers to the Rulers when the government wanted to curb their immunity.

By then, the Sultan of Johor was no longer the Yang Di-pertuan Agong.

"This was my first audience with the Sultan after my dismissal and he said to me in no uncertain terms that he very much regretted what had happened to me... He said he then realised he had been 'made use of'."

Salleh said he told the Sultan not to feel sorry for him but "he should express his regrets and apology to the people of this country for losing a judiciary that was independent and could look after their rights."

"For these reasons, I hope Datuk Seri Nazri will present the proposal to the Cabinet for a review of the 1988 judicial crisis so that the truth of this important episode in our nation's history is uncovered."


Dr M: I personally asked Salleh to resign

PUTRAJAYA: Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad said he had personally asked Tun Salleh Abas to resign from his post as Lord President in 1988 as he thought it was the best move. [The Star]


I blog about this in my entry The law was twisted. Now the government has refused to review the whole thing.

Now I feel sick.

This quote from that 83 year-old man named Mahathir is something that's not surprising. Was not he who said "Melayu mudah lupa"?

When asked if there was indeed such a job offer, Dr Mahathir said he could not remember what he had exactly offered.

“I don’t remember exactly what I offered him but I did ask him to step down so as to prevent any scandal or necessity to take action (against him),” he said, adding that he later started the necessary process to remove Salleh as the Lord President.

Is this the case of Melayu mudah lupa or Melayu mudah nyanyok?

28 September

I wanted to post this entry yesterday but my internet connection was down for almost two days. Though I'm within the MSC area the network is like crap. Syabas MSC! Malaysia sure can one!

28 September has a special place in my life. The ordeal that I went through eight years ago on this date would stick to me till my last breath. I came out from it a new man. I now see things in a more critical and sceptical way. Although I survived the ordeal my faith in certain institutions of the country fades away.

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. I was in the thick of the action, so to speak. At that time I took my fight to the streets. I cried for reforms. I cried for justice. For all that I got arrested and spent a week in the police lock-up.

I've been told to write a book about my experience. But I guess I should just share it in my own blog. It's a long story. I would have to make a series of entries in this blog.

I shall start soon. I'll name it Dang Wangi.

Buah kurma

Pheww I finally did it.

The buah kurma had been sitting in my car for three days. Two boxes of 20 kgs buah kurma. Today I finally sedekah them to one rumah anak yatim near my home. Been wanting to do that for a long time.

When one of the rumah anak yatim I've been eyeing for was no longer around I went to one near my office. When I reached there, I was stunned.

"Alamak besar nye rumah anak yatim ni. Tak cukup ni. Buah kurma 20 kilo aje."

Called up my friend and she said there's one near my home. I thought that was the one I was eyeing for? There's one near the sekolah, she said.

So this morning I finally sent the buah kurma as my ramadhan sedekah for this year. Since I've been a bad boy I hope that would score me extra points :-)

A nice girl greeted me there. She seems to be in-charge today. It breaks my heart everytime I see anak yatim. The house is well-kept. It wasn't big nor small. Two other young girls came to help me carry the buah kurma. The girl-in-charge gave me a log-book to record my sedekah. Gave some money to her and before I left she flashed a sparkling smile,

"Terima kasih bang."

Felt relieved and sad. Especially when I think of the anak yatim there. Imagine celebrating Ramadhan and Hari Raya without your family and loved ones.

I hope when I'm a rich towkay one day, I can open a rumah anak yatim. Would be good if my rumah anak yatim is of mixed races and religions. I want to teach the young kids that bigotry, in any religion, is wrong.

Maybe having one rumah anak yatim of mixed races and religions would invite controversy. Maybe that Kongsi-Raya-Is-Haram Mufti would issue another one of his twisted fatwa that having anak-anak yatim of different races and religions under the same roof is haram.

If that happens, I would say, "Go fuck yourself ustaz!"

Audit OIAM

This one is taken from Jeff Ooi's Screenshots.

Pertinent questions that need to be answered by the people at 8TV.

Read on...

8TV's One In A Million Voting System Flawed
More Votes Returned At 4.15 AM Following Morning


My take on this? Just stop all these vote-via-sms nonsense.

We don't want another Mawi in the entertainment industry where popularity exceeds talent, do we?

Selamat posa

Selamat posa folks.

Thanks to those who sent me sms-es and emails wishing me selamat berpuasa. One thing though, please stop sending me Pengajian Agama Islam 101. I know that "keluar air mani dengan sengaja batal puasa." I also know that "bersetubuh di siang hari batal puasa." Kena bayar denda lagi. I learnt all that when I was in primary school. Give me something new guys.

Didn't do much yesterday being the first day of puasa. Just lepak on the sofa watching TV. Didn't score many pahala points especially when I changed to MTV or Channel V. By noon my tummy began to play lagu keroncong asli.

Managed to catch the repeat of OIAM though I'm not really a fan. Suki is my super duper trooper junior in KGV but I'm not proud that she won. I think she didn't deserve to win. Faizal was the best. Even Alif did better. But to give them one million ringgit? I don't think so. I think none of the contestants (Dayang included) are worth that kind of price tag. Go ahead you can hantam me.

However, one tembam singer caught my eye. I think it was Zai. She has that 'black' soulful voice. Tapi biasalah, orang kita dengar lagu pakai mata tak pakai telinga.

Gotta go...balik berbuka. Selamat berbuka.

Blood

I must thank MS aka Hot Babe from Brunei for this one.

Does Your Blood Type Reveal Your Personality?

According to a Japanese institute that does research on blood types, there are certain personality traits that seem to match up with certain blood types. How do you rate?

TYPE O

---

Type O Blood people are said to set the mood for a group and to take on the role of creating harmony among its members. Their image is one of taking it easy, of being peaceful and carefree. They are also thought to be big-hearted and benevolent, and they tend to spend money on others generously. O Types are generally "loved by all." But, they also, surprisingly, have a stubborn and strong-willed side, as well, and tend to secretly have their own opinions on things. On the other hand, they have the flexible, adaptable side of readily accepting new things. They are easily influenced by other people or by what they see on TV. They seem to appear level-headed and trustworthy, but they often slip and make big blunders inadvertently. But that is also the point that makes O Types lovable. You want to be a leader, and when you see something you want, you keep striving until you achieve your goal. You are a trend-setter, loyal, passionate, and self-confident . Your weaknesses include vanity and jealousy and a tendency to be too competitive.

TYPE A

---

Speaking broadly, it is said that people with Type A Blood are calm, composed, and very level-headed and serious. They have a firm character, and are reliable and trustworthy (and hardheaded). They think things over and make plans deliberately, and they plug away at things steadily and assiduously. They try to make themselves more like their own ideal of what they should be. ' A' Types may look aloof or distant to others. They try to suppress their own emotions, and because they have continual practice in doing this, this makes them appear strong. But, actually, they have a fragile, nervous side, as well. They tend to be hard on people who are not of the same type, and so they consequently tend to be surrounded with people of the same temperament.

TYPE B

---

People with Type B Blood are curious about and interested in everything. That's may be good, but they also tend to have too many interests and hobbies, and they tend to get all excited about something suddenly and then later drop it again just as quickly. But they do manage to know which of their many interests or loved ones are the ones that are really important, the ones they should hold on to. B Types tend to excel in things rather than just be average. But they tend to be so involved in their own world or become so carried away with something that they neglect other things. They have the image of being bright and cheerful, full of energy and enthusiasm, but some people think that they are really quite different on the inside. And it can also be said about them that they don't really want to have much real contact with others.

TYPE AB

---

People with Type AB Blood are said to have a delicate sensitivity. They are considerate of other people's feelings and deal with them with care and caution. On the other hand, though, they are strict with themselves and those close to them. They, therefore, seem to have two personalities: one for those "outside," and another for people on the "inside." They often become sentimental, and they tend to think too deeply about things. AB Types have a lot of friends, but they need time to be alone and think things through, as well. 'AB' type is also a cool and controlled, you're generally well liked and always put people at ease. You're a natural entertainer who's tactful and fair. But you're standoffish, blunt, and have difficulty making decisions.

Where's the gula?

Finding gula in this country is as difficult as finding water in the desert.

Went to a big pasaraya near my office and still no gula. With our XXL-sized cabinet team we still can't solve a simple problem like gula shortage. Why so stupid? The Pahang MB gave a brilliant solution that sounded like an-idea-coming-from-the-ass.

"Tak payah lah makan gula. Lagi baik. Makan gula banyak2 pun tak elok," katanya dengan lagak samseng yang dah menjadi sifat semulajadi beliau.

Simple solution from a simply stupid guy. Now I know why these people are called YB. Yang Bangang.

You're damn right I'm pissed. Not because of the lack of gula in my system. More got to do with the stupid people at Putrajaya. You guys can't even solve a simple problem like gula, how do you expect to deal with bigger issues? Like globalisation. Like FTA. Like macam-macam lagi.

After sniffing all over, managed to get my gula at my hometown pasar. Finally, but...

"Satu kilo aje ye dik."

Waddafak!

Waduh...waduh...

Barisan notasi tercipta begitu adanya
Hingga aliran inspirasi menghampiri
Membuat jiwa merangkai kata
Dalam alunan notasi terindah
Mendamaikan hati dan pikiran
Menenangkan hayat dan kalbu
Seperti itulah layaknya karya terbaik tersaji

Not mine folks. It's from Samsons cd sleeve. Another Indon band that makes great music.

And this one's from my fav song "Bukan Diriku"

Kini maafkanlah aku
Bila aku menjadi bisu kepada dirimu
Bukan santunku terbungkam
Hanya hatiku terbatas 'tuk mengerti kamu
Maafkanlah aku...

Halloween

Halloween costume for sale!


Harga di KLCC - RM33.33 dan percuma sekilo buah strawberry.

Harga di Kuala Lipis - RM22.22 dan percuma seekor ikan patin.


Siapa cepat, dia dapat.






Pix from Zetty

RM20 million for security

With the increasing crime rate nowadays you wouldn't feel safe even in your own toilet.

My house was broken into four times and now I sleep with a very sharp parang beside me. Whoever breaks into my house now will be hudud-ed.

But there's a house in Malaysia where you can feel safe - rumah Pak Lah kat Putrajaya.

Read this to believe:

'RM20mil for security beef-up at Seri Perdana too much'

A veteran opposition MP has asked why the government is spending RM20 million to upgrade the security features of Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's official residence, Seri Perdana.

Tan Kok Wai (DAP-Cheras) in his debate on the 2007 Budget said the amount is high.

"I agree the prime minister deserves the best protection but this is just too high," he said.

Tan listed the equipment installed and the work done, which include:

• RM1.32 million for initial works which include mobilisation, workmen, compensation, insurance, clearing of rubbish and coordination;

• RM4.29 million for an anti-terrorist ramp;

• RM3.46 million for CCTV cameras and additional security lightings at the south fencing;

• RM3.88 million for a perimeter intrusion detection system (PIDS);

• RM1.06 million for control room;

• RM900,900 for the south fencing with a PIDS system;

• RM800,000 for feeder pillars and armour fibre cables and trenching;

• RM820,700 for power cables for feeder pillars and trenching;

• RM1.3 million for lightning, earthing, and surge protection systems for feeder pillars and camera poles; and

• RM500,000 for the visitor management system.

He also questioned the logic behind the security upgrade at Sri Perdana, when it was built not so long ago.

• RM600,000 for integrated building security system; and,

• RM623,700 for integrated engineering, training and others.

"So unbelievable" was Tan's respond to the cost involved in refurbishment.

He also questioned why the contract to supply the security equipment was awarded to Tokai Lightning Protection Sdn Bhd, a Shah Alam-based company.

Tan said while most of the security equipment were imported nearly 30% of them were manufactured in Malaysia.

"So why did the cost get so high?" asked.

Tan questioned as to whether there was an open tender exercised for the project and if restricted tender was used, then why was the company in question chosen. [The Sun]

Can I sleep over at your house tonight Pak Lah?

Updated:

Confirmed: Security upgrading at PM’s house costs RM20m
Beh Lih Yi
Sep 21, 06 7:59pm

It is confirmed! Maintenance and replacement works being carried out on the security system at Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi’s official residence will cost the government RM20 million.

Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Mohd Nazri Abdul Aziz confirmed the disclosure made by Tan Kok Wai (DAP-Cheras) in a written reply received by the MP today.

“The maintenance and replacement of security system at Seri Perdana costs RM19,570,000,” Nazri said in the reply, a copy of which was obtained by malaysiakini.

New skin

See my new skin.

New look but same content.

Just like new PM but the same old shit.

p/s kalau boring tukar lagi.

Sucks

The more I look at my blog the more I think it sucks.

Maybe I should change the skin.

Or perhaps it's my writing style.

Or maybe I should just go to sleep.

Mood swings maybe. I'm entitled to that too.

Ahh lantak lah...

We won't stop

The Rempits are fighting back.

They say they won't stop unless there are efforts to legitimise the "sport."

You called that sport, brader?

As much as I hate them I kinda agree when they lamented,

“Why are there so many golf courses in the city and so few tracks? It looks like nobody bothers about us because we have no money.” [The Star]

The claimed that they were not society's trash as they are often made out to be.

Brader, when you endanger other people's lives don't expect to be treated like a Nobel Prize winner.

I find this funny though:

“There are among us graduates from foreign universities as well as professionals, like architects and engineers,” said Zaki who himself is a professional in the IT industry.

Brader, let me tell you something. Just because you are a graduate it doesn't mean you are smart. Never equate intelligence with paper qualifications . Your degree is just a tool. It's up to you how to use that tool to good effect. If you're a carpenter but you don't even know how to use the "tukul besi" then you're not a carpenter. Jadi tukang kebun aje lah.

I've met many so-called graduates who can't even figure out the simplest of things in life. Things which are common sense. Some can't even think. If you can't even think then your degree is as good as the toilet paper.

Nevertheless, Zaki The Mat Rempit hit it right when he said he was suspicious of the motives behind Mat Cemerlang.

“Looks like someone’s trying to get political mileage out of ‘taming’ us,” he said.

Yang tu pandai lak kau pikir?

The tree with a face

Pix from Jeff Ooi

This is the in thing in Kampung Payar, Kepala Batas at the moment - The Tree With A Face.

It has attracted droves of visitors and the area has become like a pasar malam. I bet that most of the visitors are Malays. The Malays just love this kind of "paranormal" thing although scientists claimed it's just a freak of nature.

"Such an incident, known as “inflorescent” in botany circles, is an arrangement of flowers on a stem, and due to folding, could branch out in the form of a face or other forms." [The Star]

It seems that village elders advised onlookers to "just look" and not to make comments.

Apasal lak? Takut dia bagi salam ke...?

The ugly side of Malaysians surfaced too when some of the visitors cut some of the tree's exposed roots.

Apa kena korang ni?

However, the good thing about The Tree With A Face is it has led to economic spin-off.

"...the village has taken on a carnival atmosphere, with enterprising residents setting up stalls to sell food, snacks, drinks and photographs of the tree to visitors.

You can sit outside the kampung houses to enjoy a bowl of sup gearbox made of ox parts, a plate of chicken rice or some cool ice-cream." [The Star]

Now what would you do if this tree is in your own backyard?

Tak larat lah...

Have you heard this on the radio?

[Voice of a man puffing]

M: "Tak larat lah..."

W: "Larat laa bang..."

"Tak larat lagi lah..."

"Alaa...larat laa banggg."


Just when my mind was about to turn "blue",


"Pasaraya ni besar tau!"


Laa...iklan Mydin rupa nyer...ish ish...

Sex and booze

This is hot and saucy.

It seems that Putera Umno's idea to get close to the Mat Rempit and Minah Rempit has led to Woodstock ala Rempit.

This one's from Harian Metro today:

"LUMUT: Usaha murni Putera Umno mendisiplinkan kira-kira 8,000 Mat dan Minah Rempit di Teluk Batik di sini, Sabtu dan Ahad lalu tercemar dengan beberapa insiden memalukan termasuk dakwaan kegiatan maksiat, minum arak, gaduh serta mencemarkan masjid."

Malaysiakini carried the story too:

"The youths irked local residents when they bathed in an ablution pond located in a mosque despite being told not to do so.

This led the angry residents to file a report with the Manjung Religious Department (PAIDM) and an operation was mounted.

In the subsequent raid, eight youths, including teenage girls aged between 15 and 19, were detained at a nearby hotel.

The daily quoted PAIDM enforcement officer Mohd Zainuddin Mohamed Zaini as saying that they found three boys sharing a room with one girl."

So, can we change the name to Mat Cemerlang now?

May you rot in hell!

Did you donate to the tsunami fund?

If you did, you'd be banging your head on the wall after reading this.

Check out this revelation by our Auditor General about the misuse of the tsunami fund:

• a total of RM9.84mil to be used to buy fishing nets, outboard motors and boats was misused by the Kedah government.

• the State Development Office used RM701,222 to buy caps, shirts and lapel pins and erect billboards to welcome the Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister during their visit to the state last year,

• A total of RM6.7mil was not returned to the Federal Government by the end of last year and RM9.83mil was also spent to build houses that were of low quality

So, do you still want to donate to all the tabungs initiated by the government?

To some people, there's opportunity in adversity . To those born without a heart, it is an opportunity to cheat and songlap duit.

I pray that they rot in hell!

The blue house

On the way back from Machang, one of the girls told me this true story.

"Once there was a blue painted house somewhere near Machang.

Everything about the house was blue.

It was owned by a wealthy Kelantanese businessman.

One day he fell ill. Very ill.

As he laid in bed, the MB of Kelantan Tok Guru Nik Aziz paid a visit.

Few days later, the businessman recovered from his illness.

He then changed the colour of his house.

It is now green."

Hebak Tok Guru deh!

As I was waiting...

I can eavesdrop as I read.

So with a book in hand at the KB airport, I overheard this sesi mengumpat...

"Bank officer aje dulu tu. Gaji 600."

"Tapi I dengar dia rajin ye."

"Aa'ah, rajin kahwin. Kahwin cerai. Kahwin cerai".

"I pun dengar gak. Siti no. 5 rupa nyer ye. Dia asyik kahwin cerai. Ada yang declare, ada yang tak declare".

Hey, I'm just telling you what I heard.

You can take it with a pinch of salt or ajinomoto.

I don't care.

KB is hot!

Just got back from KB - Kota Bharu. It's so hot over there. Rasa nak terbakar kulit. Stayed there almost two weeks till I'm familiar with the road. Went to all sorts of places, some I haven't heard before. Like Dewan Beta. No, it's not a hall. It's a name of a kampung.

When I was in Tanah Merah I met my old college buddies, Suria and Shafie. Both are husband and wife. We talked and talked. From stories of our ITM days to Planet Pluto. They moved there from KL so that they can get a better quality of life, especially for their children. I kinda agree with that. Kelantan is definitely different from KL. Life moves slowly. You can still buy a kuih for 10 sen. Like Shafie said, "kat sini gaji sikit pun boleh hidup senang lagi". I could see that they are happy in Tanah Merah. I hope they stay happy.

While sipping tea in one of the kampungs, I saw a Merdeka celebration at the school there. Siap ada gajah lagi. Wah... these Kelantanese take Merdeka Day seriously. One night, I saw a Dikir Barat competition. It was a treat watching them. The competing groups came with bright coloured baju. One group looked like a Christmas tree. Another had a pink tanjak or headgear. Maybe they were representing Puteri Umno, no?

KB is thriving. Who says there's no "pembangunan" in Kelantan? Went to Pasar Siti Khadijah again. Thought of inspecting the public toilet but my hunch tells me it's still dirty. It's a public toilet in Malaysia after all.

Though was busy running around, I tried as much as I could to catch up on news. Read about the passing of the Crocodile Hunter. You'll be dearly missed, mate. But I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I read about our first astronaut who, with great pride, would try to attempt the teh tarik in space. NASA should learn from us.

The Budget was announced while I was there. After the Budget I went to one sekolah agama rakyat (SAR). Met the Guru Besar. He told me the exemption of exam fees are only for government schools. It does not cover private or independent schools like his. According to him, the Kelantan government now has to spend RM1.2 million to cover the fees.

"Dulu kito tok seh sekolah agamo bawoh kementeriye, jadi dio buak lagu nie".

On the flight back I read Minister Hishamuddin's statement. It's true. Only government schools are exempted.

It makes me sad.

And I can't help but think of the Google mantra - "Don't be evil".